| Dialogue is a form of conversation that has been explored, practiced and promoted by David Bohm, J. Krishnamurti, Martin Buber and others. To engage in Dialogue requires a commitment to speaking and listening in a more deliberate way than normally takes place in ordinary conversation or in discussion. One of the goals of dialogue is to discover meaning that is held by the group rather than by any member of the group. Doing so, brings to light some of the natural connections that exist between people that are otherwise unseen in our lives. Thus, dialogue requires a commitment to speaking and listening more deliberately, which allows deeper understanding to emerge and encourages a sense of shared meaning. | 
The Chinese character for listen contains the sub characters one heart, eye and ear - all of which we must use to truly listen. Listening is the first step in making dialogue effective. |
| Dialogue is different from both casual conversation and discussion. Something of the difference between discussion and dialogue can be gleaned from the roots of the words. The word discussion originates from the Latin verb discutire, to strike asunder, shake apart, scatter. To discuss is to dissect meaning. To work from various points of view to reduce meaning to one of many interpretations. We can speak of "winning" or "losing" a discussion. In contrast, there are no individual winners or losers in Dialogue. Dialogue comes from the Greek roots dia meaning across or through, and logus meaning word or study. When we engage in Dialogue we let meaning emanate from the group. In contrast to discussion, Dialogue is inclusive and synthetic. In Dialogue we create common meaning; meaning that emerges from and flows through the group. The meaning that emerges in Dialogue is not the province of any individual rather it belongs to the group as a whole. It is shared meaning, not individual understanding. |
 Discussion
shares the same roots with percussion and concussion.
Theses roots imply breaking ideas apart. In a discussion, we take
turns "pounding" our own ideas, which may be appropriate for strongly
advocating
a point - where winning and losing are important. |
 The
roots of dialogue are dia or between and logus
or
meaning. This implies allowing meaning to flow
between.
In a dialogue we want to cause meaning to develop through the
conversation.
Dialogue is appropriate for inquiry into truth or meaning and for
building
true consensus. |
| One way to understand Dialogue is by
seeing
its origin in our hearts rather than our heads. In Dialogue we learn to
speak from our hearts - from that core of ourselves that most expresses
who we are. In doing so, we often find ourselves slowing down the rate
at which we speak. We can be moved to speak slowly and deliberately.
When
we speak in this way, we are often able to communicate what we mean
with
fewer words. In Dialogue words can become the vehicle for the spirit of
the group.
The Dialogue Group (in Laguna Hills, CA) recommends the following four skills to enhance Dialogue: Suspension of Judgment, Identifying Assumptions, Listening, and Reflection and Inquiry. |
| Suspension of Judgment
When we practice suspending our judgments we learn to hold our opinions lightly. We consciously open ourselves to hearing and understanding each person's point of view. We create a space between our judgments and our reactions so that we can hear the other person in a new way. Our academic training and our jobs develop our proficiency in being critical - our ability to listen for what can be judged and challenged. In Dialogue we put that judgment aside and listen for what each person is truly saying. Such suspension of judgment is a key to building a climate of trust and safety in the group. |
Identifying Assumptions
Our assumptions play a large part in how we view the world and how we behave towards others, yet our assumptions are often invisible to us. Our assumptions are so habituated that we "know" that the world agrees with them. Learning to identify our assumptions allows us to see the world in a new light. By identifying our assumptions we learn to build common ground and consensus. We learn to respect others and their contributions, regardless of the fact that these contributions may contradict things we have long held to be true. |
| Listening
How do you listen? What does it mean to you to hear someone? In Dialogue we should listen to hear meaning emerge both from individuals and from the group. We listen for common assumptions and for the voices that question those assumptions. In doing so we let meaning unfold in the conversation as a whole. We try to hear the shared meaning that can evolve only if many individual meanings are heard. |
Inquiry and Reflection
When we are unclear about what someone means, we ask a question. In Dialogue the intent of questions is twofold. One purpose is to draw the other out in a safe and supportive way. Questions should never belittle or criticize. More importantly, questions allow us to dig deeply into ideas and perspectives that are novel to us. Questions that give us room for reflection can develop the understanding of the entire group. |
| Suspend
Judgment: Listen for what you can build upon, not what
you
can criticize.
Identify Assumptions: Make your assumptions visible to yourself & others. Listening is the key to perception: We must hear each other to learn. Inquiry and Reflection: Be prepared to change yourself. |
 |
|
| Because Dialogue has no leaders, some Dialogue groups choose to use a "talking stick" to identify who has the floor. The person who holds the talking stick has the attention of the group for as long as he or she wishes to speak. Others may ask questions to clarify meaning but they should not interrupt or take the floor from the speaker. When the speaker is done he or she returns the stick to the group. Using a talking stick to slow down the pace gives people the time and permission to listen respectfully to each other. This can bypass our in grained tendency to judge and allow us to more fully hear what is said, thereby facilitating inquiry and reflection. Further, listening respectfully fosters a synthesis of ideas that can begin to form new meaning among the members of the group. |
Behaviors that foster dialogue can also help build community:
| Slow
the pace and allow time to reflect on what is being said.
Practice listening and speaking from your heart. Treat each other as colleagues. Remember that your own assumptions are often invisible to you. Watch for lapses into discussion. |
| Dialogue can begin to address some of the fragmentation that we experience in modern life. When we communicate with people through the lens of discussion, we tend to see one another as entirely separate. We miss the inherent connections between people. Missing these connections contributes to the divisiveness and incoherence that we experience in the world today. Dialogue is a way to rediscover and nurture these connections. This brings coherence to our interpersonal relationships and fosters an environment of appreciation, within which we can listen to each other and inquire into new territory. The magic of dialogue occurs when the group wanders into territory - discovers new meaning - that can only be discovered by the entire group. This is meaning that no individual formed him or herself - rather it flows from the group as a whole. For the group, this can be a powerful experience because it is the creation of shared meaning. Creating shared meaning is a step toward creating community. |
| Fragmentation
is
like a virus that has infected every field of human endeavor.
Dialogue’s
purpose is to create a setting where conscious collective mindfulness
can
be maintained.
-David
Bohm
|
Dialogue
is a process
in which one can experience the connectedness and wholeness that is
always
present, yet is mostly invisible.
-Sarita
Chawla
|
| Dialogue
is a mode
of exchange among human beings in which there is a true turning to one
another, and a full appreciation of another not as an object in a
social
function, but as a genuine being.
-Martin
Buber
|
As people
in the
circle talk, the sense of meaning they share grows larger and
sharper.
They gain unprecedented insight into their fundamental views. No
one can master this form of thinking alone.
-William
Issacs
|
Resources
Links: |
| Please contact Bruce Kirchoff for more information. |  |
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